Motherhood. This is a topic that is subconsciously at the back of my mind; to be honest, I don’t think about it as much as my Mom does or likely extended family or acquaintances who often probe “oh, so, you’re still single.”
I’m not completely daft; I know that as I slowly creep towards and past 30 it becomes a harder choice to make. (Tangentially, 30 is NOT old, I do not feel old, heck, I’ve (hopefully) only lived a third of my life so far, and only been an adult for 12 of them)
Then I saw this. (to Katie, who wrote this; thank you)
Like Katie, I, too always wanted a family. I had the same boyfriend through University and for a few months after graduation. Like most naive 22 year olds, I thought this was my future. He was my future. He started a new job and I started my first big-girl job on the same day; I obviously thought this was fate, that we were starting a new journey together. We broke up 2 weeks later.
But now? Now I don’t really know anymore. And that is actually great. I don’t know if I want to be married – while snuggling sounds good, having someone around all the time does not, but having someone to drive me places and open jars does. I don’t know if I want children – they seem pretty cute but then years 5-18 don’t sound all too pleasant, neither does not sleeping, nor does being selfless. I don’t come from a broken family (my parents celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary yesterday) and I had a great childhood.
Do I still feel like I’m letting my Mom down? Absolutely. Does my grandma remind me she is likely going to die before I get married. All the freaking time!
Do I think there is a ridiculous amount of societal pressure to be married and with children? Yup. I mean seriously, why are single, childless people looked down upon like there is something wrong with them? You don’t have to treat me delicately; I mean, I may cry, but I don’t have a communicable disease.
I respect, but sometimes question,your decision to get married and have children. Could you respect (even if you question) my choice not to? Well, not for now anyway.